How gladly I would seek a mountain
If I had enough means to live as a recluse!
For I turn at last from serving the State
To the Eastern Woods Temple and to you, my master.
...Like ashes of gold in a cinnamon-flame,
My youthful desires have been burnt with the years-
And tonight in the chilling sunset-wind
A cicada, singing, weighs on my heart.
Original Poem
「秦中感寄远上人」
孟浩然
一丘尝欲卧， 三径苦无资。
北土非吾愿， 东林怀我师。
黄金燃桂尽， 壮志逐年衰。
日夕凉风至， 闻蝉但益悲。
Interpretation
This poem by Meng Haoran expresses his dejection after official career setbacks and yearning for reclusive life, while acknowledging his inability to fully detach from worldly concerns. Written with plain language and candid emotion, it stands as a moving lyrical confession.
First Couplet: "一丘尝欲卧，三径苦无资。"
Yī qiū cháng yù wò, sān jìng kǔ wú zī.
Long have I wished to recline on a hillock, But lack means to maintain three garden paths.
The opening juxtaposes reclusive aspirations ("hillock" alluding to Tao Yuanming's retreat) with financial constraints ("three paths" symbolizing hermits' dwellings), establishing the poem's central tension between ideal and reality.
Second Couplet: "北土非吾愿，东林怀我师。"
Běi tǔ fēi wú yuàn, dōng lín huái wǒ shī.
The northern capital was never my wish, My thoughts dwell on Donglin and my master.
"Northern capital" (Chang'an) represents distasteful officialdom, while "Donglin" (East Forest Temple) embodies spiritual refuge, with "my master" conveying reverence for both a specific monk and the monastic life.
Third Couplet: "黄金燃桂尽，壮志逐年衰。"
Huángjīn rán guì jìn, zhuàngzhì zhú nián shuāi.
Gold exhausted like burning cassia, My lofty aspirations fade with each year.
Metaphors of depleted resources ("burning cassia") and diminished ambitions portray physical and spiritual exhaustion - the poem's most poignant lament.
Fourth Couplet: "日夕凉风至，闻蝉但益悲。"
Rìxī liángfēng zhì, wén chán dàn yì bēi.
Evening brings cooling breezes, Cicadas' song only deepens my sorrow.
The conclusion employs autumn imagery (chill winds, dying cicadas) to mirror the poet's melancholy, with nature amplifying rather than alleviating his grief.
Holistic Appreciation
The poem unfolds as Meng Haoran's spiritual autobiography after career disappointments. His expressed desire for reclusion ("recline on a hillock") conflicts with financial necessity that drove him to Chang'an. The alienation from "northern capital" and nostalgia for Donglin reveal his aversion to officialdom and longing for spiritual life. Yet caught between ideals and reality, with depleted resources and fading ambitions, he finds himself in existential impasse. The concluding natural images - autumn winds and mournful cicadas - externalize his inner landscape, making the poem resonate with restrained pathos.
Artistic Merits
- Unadorned authenticity: Direct emotional expression without rhetorical embellishment
- Strategic allusion: Subtle classical references enrich personal confession
- Progressive revelation: Layered unfolding of spiritual dilemma
- Nature as psyche: Seasonal elements mirror internal states
Insights
The poem illuminates the timeless struggle between spiritual aspiration and material necessity. Meng's predicament - yearning for retreat yet constrained by poverty - resonates with anyone torn between ideals and survival. His candid articulation of this conflict, without resolution yet with unflinching honesty, offers solace to modern readers facing similar dilemmas. The work suggests that while life's constraints may be inescapable, giving voice to our deepest tensions can itself be a form of liberation, and that acknowledging incompleteness may be truer than pretending to resolution.
Poem translator
Kiang Kanghu
About the poet
Meng Haoran (孟浩然), 689 - 740 AD, a native of Xiangyang, Hubei, was a famous poet of the Sheng Tang Dynasty. With the exception of one trip to the north when he was in his forties, when he was seeking fame in Chang'an and Luoyang, he spent most of his life in seclusion in his hometown of Lumenshan or roaming around.
